One of the comments I hear most consistently from male prospects is “I want to work another 8 – 10 years”. What is driving that comment? Is it coming equally from men and women executives?

A friend of mine, with a great sense of humor, was about to get married and wanted to buy a home. The banker said “I understand you want a mortgage”. My friend replied NO! Only an idiot would want a mortgage. We want this house to become our home — and we understand that we need a mortgage to be able to buy it.

Men, early in the conversation, tell me how much longer they want to work. Continuing the analogy from the story above, does that mean they really want to work? No! Work is like the mortgage — it enables what they really want and need. Yes, they have more they want to accomplish and they want to give themselves enough time to accomplish it. Remaining relevant is very important, as is income. But at the top of the list is fear! Fear of “being done” and of the consequences triggered by true retirement. It is about relevance and health — regardless of age. We no longer think of retirement or even early retirement as enabling an enviable life of travel, golf and reading. Everyone seems to have a story about a family member or close friend who went downhill fast once they stopped working.

Women do not lead with how long they want to work — they talk most about wanting a better life. Their window is much shorter — typically 2-3 years and maybe even sooner. And they are bolder about just leaving, without something else lined up. They do not feel the same need to retain a title and business-centered role. They want to retain their independence, mentor other women and have more flexibility. Yet they are competitive,and need a new way to feel a sense of accomplishment beyond home and family.

Back to the men. Do the 8 – 10 year declarations seem to have some precision behind them? To be honest — not usually. Building savings is commonly a factor — yet very few know exactly how much additional savings they need or when they will be “done” on that measure. When I ask “how do you plan to accomplish working another 8-10 years?” the answers are usually pretty vague. Two conversations with Prospects last week illustrate the point. Both were senior executives, and both were caught by surprise in a massive downsizing resulting from a big change of strategy. One had moved his family twice in three years, and moving again is not an option — yet he was busy trying to save the company and did not have his own plan. The other said: “I had a plan. I was going to finish up the integration I was leading, then in two-three years think about what I wanted to do next.” My response was: “you had a vision, not a plan”.

So what do men and women have in common? Confusing aspirations and hope with a plan. A plan for having the next steps laid out — and being ready to launch those steps when needed.

I have observed how much peace our Clients and their families have once establishing such a plan, and I have witnessed too many regrets for not having one when “stuff happens”. Regardless of how well-placed someone is, or how highly regarded the individual may be within their organization, more and more factors are interrupting well-thought aspirations beyond their control. The reasons driving the desire to continue working are deep and important on many levels — identity, sense of accomplishment, legacy, family. These reasons are only filled from meaningful roles that feed the persons needs — not from just any job. You can leave it to chance, knowing that route has become more brutal even for successful executives, or have a plan!

– Jim Deupree