Most of the senior executives ChapterTwo^® helps acknowledge that their careers have really been guided by saying yes or no to opportunities presented to them.  They have not paused along the way to set their own compass. In most cases the result has been a sequence of promotions and enviable career success.  Tom’s story is typical. He started his career as a Tupperware franchisee.  His territory was a small corner of the midwest, where there were no tall buildings and very few cars made outside of Detroit.  Despite that modest territory he became the third largest producer in the United States.  Tupperware bought him out, and made him a company Vice President before he was 30.  He invested the money wisely, and kept climbing the ladder.  Eventually he was a Senior Vice President — and newly divorced.

So what’s the problem?

• For some the problem has already occurred — in the form of divorce, health risks related to stress and challenges with children.  Success has come at a significant price.

• For others the problem is lurking on the horizon.  It is a growing recognition that while the perks and recognition have their appeal, the price of leadership may be too high for them.  They begin to feel trapped by their success — smiling for the cameras but not inside.

As I and my team worked with hundreds of senior executives over the past few years we have seen these scenarios far too often, and they naturally bother us.  We are disturbed both by the consequences themselves, and that leaders think about these consequences but far too often fail to take any definitive action.  So we were delighted to find a Forbes article by the Center for Creative Leadership titled “Four Rules for Leading with Purpose”.

It’s an amazing, thought-provoking article, and I recommend reading it through.  It talks about clarifying your reason for leading, and assessing the cost of leadership.

We are big fans of climbing the ladder the hard way, and earning success.  The question becomes what then.  Let me get back to Tom’s story.  Upon his divorce he decided not just to leave the city but to leave the country — and went to the Philippines as Country Manager.  He became Asia Pacific General Manager, then assumed the same position for another company.  Finally he returned to the United States, and spent two months getting to know his grandchildren.  Then he came to me, saying “I have to find a job.”  He didn’t need the money.  When I pressed Tom on why he said “All I know is leading companies.  That’s who I am.”  I responded with “you have been out of the country for a long time, and have no friends here.  You barely know your family anymore.  Is it more important to get a fourth notch on your belt for successfully leading another company, or to create a role that gives you significance and satisfaction while letting you build a new set of friends and enjoy your family?”  Put that way he weighed his priorities differently — and became a co-owner of a small company.  He could use his Asia knowledge, work half-time with limited travel, and have a life.

So go ahead climb up the ladder, but be aware it does sometimes have unintended consequences.  My concern is with accepting the default position of staying there — without thinking deeply enough about what’s next, and why.

— Jim Deupree