This saying has special meaning related to my late father, Joseph Deupree.

My father was a journalist, and not the Walter Cronkite highly visible type.  He was also an amateur poet, and one of his poems was titled “Not Everyone Can Have A Star On Their Dressing Room Door”.  That poem has inspired our family for years, along with his legacy of doing so many little things for people day in and day out and never talking about them or seeking credit.

What defines a “star” anyway?  Is it the person with the seven figure income and corner office, the lawyer who wins the high-profile cases, those who get elected to public office, those with  several palatial homes and big boats?  Or is a “star” someone whose aura shines on others — and gives them illumination for a new vision and new hope?

In my work I interact with hundreds of executives and lately I sense a trend.  More and more successful people are concluding that tangible rewards alone are not enough.  They want a sense of significance and it does not come from titles or toys — it comes from making a difference.  Joel Koblentz echoed that thought in a recent guest blog titled “Do You Like Your Job”? which I hope you will read if you didn’t see it.  He challenged successful leaders to think more about what really mattered — then act on those thoughts.

My wife Betsy has become an example.  She was a Management Consultant with IBM, and had received their top peer recognition.  She loved her work and her colleagues, but not the travel requirements.  So she began to think about her chapter two — while at the top of her profession.  During our discernment phase our Dr. Tom told her that she had outgrown IBM.  She already felt it at some level, yet his declaration became permission to think that way and do something about it.  What was most important to her was much more time at home to become involved in community and church activities, and to spend a bit of time with me as I launched ChapterTwo^®.  Today she is a Management Consultant for a firm that does not require travel, is heavily involved in three local organizations helping others, and gets to enjoy some of our ChapterTwo^® activities.  She makes less money, yet is far happier.  As Joel advocated, she is freshly discovering many things about herself and has already found that life beyond IBM is quite a big and fascinating place.

If we think about the people we truly admire and respect it is usually those who made a difference — in our lives or in the lives of those we care about.  People who genuinely care about others, whether a star or not, touch and inspire far more people than they ever realize.  It is the many little everyday things that make a difference — not one or two big things.

A common perception is that it is easier for someone with a position of power and influence, a “star”, to  help others.  I have been fortunate to have many “stars” as friends, colleagues and Clients who truly did use their experience and resources to twinkle.  Most of them are very modest about the ways they have helped, and get true delight from it.  Ironically, I have also learned that it is actually harder for them.  Why?  Because they get approached by many people who want something, and they must sift through who really needs help vs. who is just seeking an easier ride.

Let’s redefine stardom.  Everyone can twinkle.  During our ChapterTwo^® journey with our Clients we discern what is truly significant and satisfying for them.  The size of their office rarely comes up   We talk more about their legacy than their resume, virtually every time.  Even the “stars” want to twinkle  in new and significant ways.  If this doesn’t make sense to you yet, I encourage you to let it simmer on a back burner in your mind somewhere.  Sometimes we have to change our environment to get in a space that allows us to freely twinkle, and sometimes we just have to allow time for a change in our thinking about what’s possible.  We have accomplished both for our Clients on a regular basis, to their delight and ours.

I guess it is fair to say that ChapterTwo^® is one of my ways to twinkle too.

– Jim Deupree